That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
