There was a lot of him and a little penis
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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