I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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