Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
