if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dick has a subreddit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
