All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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