pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize