Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize