Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
