I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
