I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
