shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
