Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
