i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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