I accidentally had phone sex last night
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
