sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
