its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
