That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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