bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize