forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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