Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
