im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
