and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
