he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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