I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize