I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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