I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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