We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
