Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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