It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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