He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
