I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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