i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
