Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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