Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That accounts for only three of the penises
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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