During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
