One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
