one might say we're banned from that church
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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