Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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