I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
