i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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