Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize