...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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