you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
