ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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