I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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