I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
