Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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