The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize