Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
