They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
