Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
