You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
