She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize